Let’s set it straight (pun intended)

These past few days, a cancer-causing article has circulated throughout the Internet. The article ‘Being Gay’ written by Tintin Babao where she supposedly consulted an “expert” on homosexuality has made me want to punch my desktop’s screen while reading it. I just cannot believe that a psychologist with a doctorate degree can be that... that... and a parent who supposedly loves her son unconditionally can hold such a ... such a... view (just fill the ellipsis with the bitchiest and most affronting words and phraseology you know).

Anyway, this write up is not about me lambasting their ignorance and bigotry (you judge) dressed in religious overcoat. I just want to get things straight (pun again) by putting a blow-by-blow (pun again) commentary on some parts of the article I find completely retarded. Anyway, I would also be speaking from an LGBT’s point of view because I am one, a bisexual.

“Remember ang binigay ng Diyos na anak is a girl or boy. A six-year-old can already identify his/her gender. Good parenting structures the right role of a person.” 

The answer provided by Dr. Camille implies that gender is the same with sexual orientation. One’s gender, the “socially constructed expectations, roles, and behaviors given by a particular society for men and women” is completely different from sexual orientation. Sexual orientation, to put simply, is whom you are attracted to. Doctor Camille seems to say that if only parents will socialize their children to be masculine or act like a man as perceived by society, parents can stop them from being homosexual. This kind of orientation is bogus. You cannot modify someone’s sexual orientation: 

All major national mental health organizations have officially expressed concerns about therapies promoted to modify sexual orientation. To date, there has been no scientifically adequate research to show that therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation (sometimes called reparative or conversion therapy) is safe or effective. Furthermore, it seems likely that the promotion of change therapies reinforces stereotypes and contributes to a negative climate for lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. This appears to be especially likely for lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals who grow up in more conservative religious settings (APA).

One can be as gay as they are but still ‘act’ like a cisgender. Also, the girl-boy binary has long been debunked; intersex individuals exist. 

Should parents be alarmed and arrest the situation? Or encourage it? Dr. Camille: “Arrest the situation, ’yun ang tama. But most parents encourage the situation. Tatanggapin agad. Let’s be moral in making the child understand the situation, di ba yun ang dapat. We tell our child, ‘Anak, mali ito.’” 

How should the parents address this? Some parents resort to threat and extreme military-style punishment. Some parents go to great lengths to explain to the child the consequences of being gay, so that the child can think, then make a choice.Dr. Camille: “Threat and punishment encourage the child more to do things wrongly, because you are shutting off the situation. Make sure you discuss with your child openly. ‘Alam mo anak, hindi namin gusto yung ginugusto mo.’

People like her still thinks that being a homosexual is wrong and immoral. This mode of thinking has pushed gay people to take their lives because of rejection, marginalization, and depression.  LGBT youth who were living in an unaccepting environment have an increased risk for suicide. I am not really into the nitty-gritty of what other people consider as immoral, but I am pretty sure that to drive your child into his death qualifies as wrong and an immoral act. 

“Explain that he is a boy and therefore, as boys, they grow up as men and their partners are women. ‘Hindi kasi tama ang makasama sa buhay at magpapamilya ay parehas na lalaki.

No. Downright no. Same-sex families can raise a beautiful family and lovely children. (No one can dictate you who to spend your life with.) They have very fabulous and heart-warming weddings too!  

As a mom who has a three-year-old son named Nio, my personal take on the matter is this: Nio, when curious, plays with his big sister’s toys. But we always point it out to him that those are toys for girls, and these are toys for boys. We compare toys so that he will understand.Before he turned three, he was fully aware and could already distinguish the girls’ toys from the boys’ toys. We realized that playing with his big sister’s toys is his loving way of bonding and playing with his Ate Antonia. When big sister is not around, Nio doesn’t touch the girly toys.

Heteronormativity. This is heteronormative bullshit. Just to add, I have and loved all the toys that can symbolize machismo: trains, Hot Wheels, light sabers, superhero action figures, RC helicopters and cars. But see, I am a bisexual. 

That's it. I still want to add more but time won't allow. Still have things to do. 

Bye! And this is for you Tintin and Dr. Camille: 

I'M BEAUTIFUL IN MY WAY/
COZ GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES/
I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY/
I WAS BORN THIS WAY/ 

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